Let my start by saying I am bias, but I think we leaning toward Caison being an only child. We talk about it a lot and so far this is where we stand.
Tree is a middle child. She is the dependable, self-sufficient, strong child. She is the one that her parents call when they need something. They don’t call her older brother or younger sister they call her. She is the one that will call her parents on her way over for her birthday dinner and ask if they need any thing, and when they say yes she will get whatever it is and bring it. It drives me crazy. I know that some of it is just how she is. She would give the shirt off her back, but some of it is her being taken advantage of. Oh, I could really go on a rant about this but I think you get the idea.
Me, the only child! I love it. I have a lot of cousins and we were all very close growing up. My mother always made it a point to color or play with me and to let me have friends over when I wanted. I have NO complaints at all. I was able to get the things that I asked for, we were able to go on one or two vacations a year, and I never once felt lonely.
Caison, well he is amazing. He has been a wonderful baby. He is always happy, rarely cries, and sleeps through the night. He has a lot of cousins around his age and all within walking distance. He will always have someone to play with.
Trees family, havent been as involved in Caisons life as I thought. Her mom is very distant, and rarely thinks of him. She is always getting things for her other grandkids but nothing for him. ( Tree thinks it’s because we are so self-sufficient and never whine that we don’t have money) Her dad, is better he tries to stop by and always wants to hold him when we are around. Her brother is never around anyway so Im not surprised he doesn’t see Caison. M and M (sis and BIL) are a big part of his life. They are his godparents and we see them at least once a week.
My family, like I said I am the only child. Right now Caison is the only grandchild and great-grandchild. They are all so excited and very sad that we live in another state. It’s hard for me to know that they would be so much a part of his life if we were closer. They spoil him, they spoil me. Not always in monetary ways but just in their actions. They call they send cards they care.
We fear that bringing another baby into our family will only offset the balance we already have. We always said we wanted one or two. With the possibility of twins high for us we know that there is a chance for 3 and we aren’t even ready to consider that. This is not to say that down the road we wont change our mind. If Tree feels the need to carry we will have another no questions asked. If Caison gets older and we decide we want another we will.
I know that some of the decision is our selfishness. I acknowledge that. We want to be able to give him the things he wants. We want to go on vacation every year. We have come up with a terrible analogy …. We had one dog and really wanted another, we got another and things weren’t like what we thought at all. How do we know that having a second baby will work for us?
This is our personal feeling I know it sounds harsh but it is how we feel our family fits. I’m not sure why I felt the need to write this post but I had to get it out there.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend!
Doesn’t sound harsh at all. I am a middle child and Charlie is an only child. At this moment we want to have 2 kids however, we currently have 0. Those feelings may change once we have a child. You just have to be honest with yourself.